In a recent post featuring entrepreneur and best-selling author Rachel Rodgers, we shared about the fun Rachel had gifting members of her mastermind event with Democracy jeans. At Democracy Clothing, there’s nothing we love more than helping women of all shapes and sizes embrace who they are and realize they can feel good in the skin they’re in. So when we heard about Shawna O’Hagan Morrow’s transformational experience trying on our jeans, we knew we had to share her tale with you. Read on for how Shawna’s initial fear transformed into an affirming life lesson.
At some point in our lives, most of us experience the feeling of dread at the prospect of trying on clothes. I’ve had these moments since I was 10 years old…and jeans in particular have been an issue for me. My body shape hasn’t been conducive to traditional jeans. If the legs fit the waist doesn’t and vice versa…it’s always been an uncomfortable struggle.
So, when the host at a business mastermind event I was attending in early 2020, Rachel Rodgers, announced they had FREE JEANS for all of the participants courtesy of Democracy Clothing, I was caught off guard!
Rachel looked absolutely stunning in her jeans and I was excited about the offer, but I immediately started worrying that the jeans wouldn’t fit me. I hoped that maybe they would give us a coupon code, but …
NOPE! The jeans were sitting on a table behind me!
Cue the Free Jean FREAKOUT!
The jeans were here…behind me….on the table!
We had to try them on…and all I could think was “I might die right here.”
My heart starts pounding!!! I’m talking full body sweat!
The Belief Underneath
I had SO MANY unhelpful thoughts – nothing will fit me, everyone will get jeans and I’ll be the only one left out, I’ll be humiliated if the jeans don’t fit… It’s like 7th grade gym class all over again!
Then I asked myself, “what’s the worst thing that can happen?”
The jeans don’t fit.
I wanted to run.
But I also wanted to be part of the group. To fit in with all the other women who got a pair of really nice jeans.
There it was…the real reason for my panic…the fear of not fitting in.
So, if my butt doesn’t fit into those jeans – that must mean I’m not good enough…or worthy.
There…I said it.
I had to be willing to see the real reason I was panicking. I was afraid of not being good enough.
This belief of not being good enough is what was causing the shame to be triggered.
Once I could identify the source of my panic, I could manage it…
And then I realize that it’s ok if the jeans don’t fit.
I get up and pretend to calmly walk over to the table. I see all the sizes but mine!
I start to panic again!
A lot of really terrible options float through my mind at that moment…
Do I walk away and pretend I’m not hurt that my size isn’t there and pretend it doesn’t matter? Or do I make up a ridiculous story about how I’m not allowed to wear jeans because it’s bad for my back?
I build up the courage to grab a pair closest to my size and go try them on.
At least I would know for certain instead of never knowing and just beating myself up for not being the right size.
Will They Fit?
I grab a pair of jeans that are at least 1 (if not 2 sizes) smaller than I usually wear.
I’m telling myself that I can do this.
If they don’t fit – it’s ok. I will not die from jeans not fitting. I can sit with whatever feelings come my way.
But a crazy thing happens when I walk into the bathroom stall and begin to try the jeans on.
By the time I got one leg in, up to my knee – I knew they were going to fit.
I put the other leg in and begin to pull up…
“THEY’RE GOING TO FIT!” I’m screaming in my head!!!
And what do you know - they fit!!!!!!
I almost cried in that bathroom stall.
I walked out and saw so many of my friends trying their jeans on and asking how they fit.
I told them I was shocked that they fit because the size was smaller than I am used to but they were so comfortable! I never wanted to take them off!
A Revelation
As I’m strutting out of the bathroom with some new found confidence, I walk up to the stylist, Raven Roberts, who also was one of our speakers, and I told her that the jeans fit!
She’s cheering me on and I’m sharing all of the panic that has been going on for the last few minutes and how I almost didn’t allow myself to try them on.
What a shame that would have been because I would have missed out!
Right then…in that moment, I had a HUGE AHA…
My entire life I’ve been told I needed to hide my body.
“If you wear this, it’ll hide that,” or “Wear this to minimize that”….hide, hide, hide…
The message I’ve been given was that my body was bad and I needed to hide it.
My clothes never made me feel good.
I realized that to birth my dreams into reality I need to see my body and myself differently. In clothes like Democracy, I can embrace the skin that I’m in.
I felt like a ton of weight came off my shoulders that day.
Thank you Democracy Clothing for making the most comfortable and fashionable jeans I’ve ever had the pleasure of trying on! And for giving me the opportunity to shine a light on a myth I had been unconsciously believing for far too long... that my body was unworthy and needed to be hidden.
Nothing could be further from the truth!
All bodies are meant to be celebrated. So celebrate I will!
My favorite jean for celebrating–the Plus-Size “Ab”solution® Ankle Skimmer in Indigo
More About Shawna O’Hagan Morrow
Shawna is a CPA turned Certified Life Coach who helps women lose their self-doubt and live their lives without apologies! After 20 years of working in the corporate arena, she started her own company to empower and inspire women who struggle with body image and weight issues. She is also the creator of the Find Your Feisty Podcast, where inspiration meets courage to create feisty. To learn more and follow her Jean Journey as it continues to unfold, follow Shawna on IG, visit her website and subscribe to her podcast. You can hear her share about her Free Jean Freakout in her own voice in this episode!
